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"Snapping Back": Thoughts on Body Image & Motherhood

Writer's picture: Lauren NaselliLauren Naselli


Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who’s the fairest mom of all? It’s no secret that motherhood changes our bodies. We have the amazing ability to grow and birth humans. Yet as soon as that ends, society wonders, “Will she snap back?”


“Snap back.” A term I’ve come to loathe as much as someone telling me to “just relax” when I feel anxious. It is not all enjoyable and “snapping back” has got to go. Sure, some part of society includes moms who have experienced the process before, but a large part of society will never be able to understand what we go through during pregnancy and postpartum journeys. So to then hold us to the idea of “snapping back” is unfathomable to me.


Let’s talk about our bodies in general. We are meant to change over time. Many times I see people trying to fit into that dress from the early 2000s or try on their wedding dress every year to make sure it still fits (okay, I admit I did this for the first few years). But the reality is you are not that person from the early 2000s or from your wedding day or your graduation ceremony or whatever the outfit may be from. Our bodies are not meant to stay at the same weight and with the same composition. Naturally, we change. And you’ve changed too. Along the journey of life you’ve been through ups and downs, challenges and celebrations, all of which changed you. Why return to the past?


We have to consider this when we view our changing bodies as moms. I know that for me, this second pregnancy is changing me faster than the first. I also am someone who struggles with body dysmorphia and once had an eating disorder. Tack on some anxiety and if you didn’t know, it makes things really difficult. Change is hard for people like me. But we have to remember this is what is meant to happen. We must grow (in pregnancy, quite literally) and change to support a brand new human. And how cool is that?!


We then deliver our children, another concept which I feel society sort of just assumes we can do because we’re made for it. But that part’s not easy either. Many birth stories, including my own, involve complications and difficulty. With my first pregnancy, I then had to figure out how to recover from a not-so-great birth while not sleeping and taking care of my infant without much help due to the pandemic at the time. But don’t forget everyone - we better snap back soon!!


Wrong. With postpartum comes a ton of new experiences, literal and figurative healing, sometimes postpartum anxiety and depression. We then look in the mirror and feel defeated if we haven’t met society’s expectation for how we should look after going through this crazy experience. From here, we move into the toddler years, sleep regressions, the school years (involving all those illnesses, too!) and the list goes on.


While we should take care of ourselves for our health and well-being, try ever so hard not to let weight be your focus. That mental “weight” is the real culprit that needs to get lost. You are a MOM. You have grown and birthed humans. You have fed them (whether through nursing or formula - both make you a worthy mom). You have loved them, even on the days we lose our you-know-what and may not be our best selves. Above all, we have gone through a crazy physical change and since day one we haven’t stopped worrying about and loving these kids of ours.


If you’re struggling with body image, it’s definitely important to seek help. Sometimes it’s helpful to talk with friends - I’m always happy to listen! Or, you may need to seek therapy, which is truly often needed. It should not be stigmatized. If you need help, please seek it. Do whatever it is you need to do to let body image and the idea of “snapping back” or “getting back to that body'' go. You are amazing. As you are. Full stop. You are a mom. No weight level will ever remove that value.





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